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GenericAnime

Never Give Up
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Relatable

1 min read
Just listening to super indie music drawing! I am so relatable! It's like late and I just started! I am going to keep working really hard on my video! I can't wait to finish it! Hey don't you hate it when you scream in the middle of the night because you're afraid of dying?
I KNOW RIGHT! It happens to all the normal human beings! Well I got to go, I need to finish up this human flesh and draw some super duper cute anime!
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I am tired, not physically but emotionally deflated. I had an idea and It needed it to be realized. I was excited and ready to go, I started as soon as I could. It is suppose to reveal something about me it's personal and meaningful... It is also a complete piece of shit. This video its conception and creation has been in development for quite some time.

It has been months that I have worked on this thing off and on, I wrote a script I animated a ton of assets. Every time I finished one part of it I regretted it and told myself to move forward. It's something you have to do as an artist from time to time. You can't work on one thing for too long you need to sometimes give in and move forward. Unfortunately I feel that all I have done was leave a trail of garbage which each edit completed.

**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
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Fuck shit again really? Alright maybe a fluke let me try again.

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**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
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Oh your not something that is going away now are you?

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**PLEASE GIVE US FEEDBACK**
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This is starting to chip away at my mind and digging me further down. I mean it's close just a few more steps... But is it worth it? It has to be it must be I need to push forward!!

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**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
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you trying to tell me something? I was wrong to think I could do better maybe it wasn't meant to be? Has to be must be need to just get that last push!!

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**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
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I hate what I have made and I am tired of life postponing this project. It will be done it must be done no matter how frustrating no matter how awful it is. has to come out their was too much time put into it, it has to be finished..... soon

**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT****CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT****CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT****CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
**CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT****CRASH**         **WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND A CRASH REPORT**
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So I just finished a portrait that was super frustrating to make and now I have another reeeaaaallly cringey anime maid drawing that I stopped working on to make said portrait. I need to fix the background of said cringe and color it up it's pretty deep into being done. I may or may not do I little digital inktober not sure yet.

Then I will just jump back into this YouTube video I was creating. The video has so much animation to be done I kinda felt I needed a break. It is one of those jaidenanimtion theodds1out type animatic stuff but I am hoping to do something new with it even by the animation. So expect stuff in about.... whenever.... I am so good at updates.


Hey why not check out my Tumblr! it doesn't do very well! T.T
almostanartist.tumblr.com/
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I had many poor experiences but that isn't what this is about. This is about the effects of those events and what it has done to my body. I believe that I can control my feelings and no mater what the obstacle is I can over come it. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be the case this time.

My body is taking control of me and it is trying its best to scare me to death. I keep fighting it and I keep telling myself I don't need to take the medication. Living with this type of anxiety is a unique experience one that I never thought I would manifest. I launch out of my bed sometimes my heart is pumping and my mind is screaming at me, your dying. It isn't true I know this but it tilts the world around me puts me in a panic makes me feel weak.

I hate feeling weak and I scream back but it doesn't work I'm scared even as I write I pause to think and I tremble. This feeling that this is your last day on earth almost everyday is exhausting to say the least, Too bad I can't sleep it off. Some people have a much harder lives and they don't experience this some have a fine life yet have anxiety. Mine was triggered not innate yet I understand what I experience wasn't normal it was not that bad either.

Even when I take my anti anxiety pills they don't work at times. We all struggle and sometimes carry things with us and I don't think any of us are alone with feeling that. I know others suffer from this I know logically this doesn't make me weak or anyone else weak it's just something uncontrollable. Sometimes something primal tells me it does and it spirals me further.

I am not sure what to do or if their is anything to do but I do have a small bit of advice. Don't let someone tell you your weak or less of a person. They may not even be doing it maliciously they may simply not understand that you can't just snap out of it. Trust me I have tried to tell myself I am doing this to myself but in reality anxiety is like a sickness and you don't cure it by telling it to go away.

I know one day this will leave me it may come back here and there but I cannot let it cripple me from chasing what little dreams I hold on too so strongly, nothing can.
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Featured

Relatable by GenericAnime, journal

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Small Update (+link to my Tumblr) by GenericAnime, journal

Anxiety Is Beating Me by GenericAnime, journal